This is my farewell to you, 2011!

Another year has come and gone.  2011 has definitely brought some really great times.  And with all good things, comes some not so great things... This is my farewell to you, 2011!

January 2011 was a great way to start the year!  I started 2011 as a Barthel and I am ending it as a Ford!  I married the love of my life, my best friend, Nathan, January 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm.  It was the BEST day of 2011!
 

Following the wedding was a great reception, and of course a relaxing honeymoon in fabulous Las Vegas, NV!  Also, a trip to the Grand Canyon was in order!

After returning to real life once again, in April 2011, I was able to move my office HOME!  That’s rights.  I work from the comfort of my own home.  What a HUGE gas saver that was for me! 

But as I said before, with all the good, comes the bad.  In June 2011, I mourned the loss of my father.  After a long battle with prostate cancer, the cancer finally won.

On a happier note, in July 2011, we threw a HUGE 4th of July weekend party on the lake.  Swimming, fishing, drinking, and more.  Nathan had a PROFESSIONAL firework show to end the weekend!

In September 2011, I celebrated my 21st birthday for the 8th time! :)

In December 2011, me and my husband celebrated our 1st Christmas together as husband and wife.  I also SUPER SURPRISED him with a 2007 Gibson SG guitar!

And in 1 day, we will be celebrating our 1st new years together as husband and wife!

For 2012, I hope to have a great 1st year anniversary with my husband.  I want to get into shape. (a good looking shape preferably)  I want to go to Disneyworld! (HINT*HINT*) But most of all, I just want life to be happy in the upcoming year, no matter what it brings!

Cheers to the New Year!!!     2012

Trying to find a way to say Goodbye!

It has been  such a rough 2 weeks. We ended up going down to Evansville on Memorial Day to see my dad... and say our goodbyes. It was really hard because he looked so old and weak, almost like death already.  He couldn't speak but did open he eyes and moan and acknowledged our voice.  I wasn't sure if i wanted to go but,  like they said, I would have regrets either way. I was glad I got one last chance to say goodbye. I would do anything for one more tho..
He died early in the morning on June 2.   Kim was with him and said he went peacefully 'home'.  I worked the rest of the week to stay occupied.

The showing was June 5 and funeral June 6. The showing ran on forever. There was a two hour wait in line to get in the funeral home! It was crazy to see how many friends my dad had.   He touched so many lives in the short time he had!

My dad was diagnosed 4 years ago with prostate cancer and was in its final stage for quite some time.  I didn’t want to believe this disease would really kill him.  I was naive thinking he could beat it.  It didn’t seem real because most of the time he was healthy and active. 

 I never really knew my father.  I lived 7 years of my life with him but childhood memories have faded and I only know the man I met 2 years ago.  He seems to be a very hard working  good man living life by god’s rules.  His family loves him, and his wife adores him.  He has left a mark on a lot of people in his town and I am amazed by the messages I receive from people who knew him when I was his.  I just wish I could remember the proud eyes of my father’s as I took my first step or as I got onto the bus for my first day of school.  I wish I could remember his loving hug as he rocked me to sleep or as he handed me off to the surgeon.  I can never get those memories back.  I only have a handful of pictures and a few pages of stories.

I only know the man I met 2 years ago.  He welcomed me to his family as if no time had passed.  His family was accepting and loving.  I got the one memory no one else can ever have and I will cherish it forever.  My dad walked me down the aisle to marry the love of my life. 

Now its time to say goodbye to him.  He told me before leaving to remember that we have a relationship now that no one can ever take from us again.  He left too soon but I cherish the time I was given.  I will continue to cherish the extended family he left behind. 

I was blown away by the love and support of family. I thought this was going to be one of the hardest weekends of my life.  It was hard but I never expected the warmth and togetherness I felt. All of us kids spent this time to talk about whatever and supported each other though this sad time. I have never had a full conversation with Anthony but on this visit I had several!  I felt sisterly love from Lia and held her while we cried together. Molly and Travis made us feel especially welcome with their talk of wanting us to live in Evansville.

It makes me feel so loved.  I always felt accepted but now I feel really part of my extended family.  I never got it until now... blood family is born in the womb, but 'adopted' family is defiantly born in the heart and that makes it that much more special!  Thanks for making it such a memorable visit... 

~*~*We laughed until we had to cry, we loved right down to our last goodbye, but over the years we'll smile and recall, for just one moment - we had it all!*~*~

Rest in Heaven, Dad!          February 7, 1954-June 2, 2011

Reflections

31 days as Mrs. Ford.

My name has been officially changed.  Thank you letters have been mailed.  Wedding photos selected.  Most of the leftovers have been sold.  Now it is on with REAL life! 

I finally got to see the wedding video Nathan’s parents taped.  It is, by far, not professional quality but it is better than nothing.  It was nice to sit and watch it since I didn’t remember anything except for Nathan’s face.  John did a great job for his first ceremony as officiate.  I think I did an excellent job writing the ceremony! (sorry, have to give myself props too, LOL)  I thought it was very respectful that John stepped away while me and Nathan read each other our vows.  I know we were on the PA system, but it still made it more intimate between me and him.  So blog readers, if you or anyone you know, are looking for a cheap and great officiate for your ceremony, hit me up for John’s info!! *PLUG* J

I am also happy to report all the leftover wedding stuff is almost all sold.  I even made a few extra bucks on some of the stuff!  I am taking my dress to get it cleaned this weekend and hopefully I can get most of the money back on it.  I debated the dress selling over and over again, but finally concluded to sell it now while I can recoup some of the funds if not all.  I see SOOO many 1980’s dresses on Craigslist selling for next to nothing and no one can get rid of them because they are so out of style.  I don’t want to be one of those people that cart my dress around for the next 20 years only to realize my daughter doesn’t want it.  I feel like the dress shopping is the best part of the planning anyway.  So if you or your friend needs a dress…J

So all in all, I know I had a mental break down towards the end there about money spent on the wedding but It was beautiful and very memorable.  I think most of the budget was spend on pictures, venue/dinner, and my dress.  Everything else I have recouped on.  Can’t be mad about that!  Plus, I think my vision was executed.   It felt very warm and elegant.  I got the wedding I really wanted and then some even with the set backs and so called "compromises".

I have to say I got a very special gift for my wedding. I got something I never thought I would.  My father walked me down the aisle!  I got to share my day with both of my parents.  They had not seen or talked to each other in 20 years.  I finally got my first actual father daughter dance the night of my wedding.  What a very special memory to add to my happiest day.  I am so glad my Dad got to share the day with us and that was an awesome gift!  Thanks Dad!

So like I was saying, on with REAL life.  Married life is better than I ever thought it could be!  Nathan is such a great husband.  He spoils me with kisses.  He is always reminding me how much he loves me.  We instantly became this awesome team once we said I DO.  We were a team before, but something about marriage strenghtened the bond and made it better than ever.  It feels like our fire was re-ignited.  I know we will get through everything life has for us.  I am so happy to be a wife and so glad its with him!!!  I love you, husband!

So what is next?  Boring everyday stuff... Spring cleaning... Finishing up projects on the house... Maybe we will actual have the house warming party this summer...( i know its a year later, but better late than never, right?)

And they lived happily ever after...

It’s been 2 weeks since the ceremony.  I have been trying to get back in the swing of normal times.

I have to admit I am a little lost without something to make or plans to finalize for the wedding.  So much free time! LOL

How did everything turn out you ask?  Well, the night before the ceremony was indeed, busy, busy, busy!  Nathan and I spend several hours at the venue putting stuff together.  And let me just add, thank goodness we got the time to because it took FOREVER and we didn’t finish everything!  Dinner with the bridal party was hectic and loud but still a good time.  I didn’t realize I picked such a busy restaurant :/  I was exhausted after a day full of stuff to do, but unfortunately still only got about 2 hours of sleep.  I didn’t get any cold feet or nerves but I did have like a million details for the wedding going through my head so there was just no clearing my head for rest, lol!

The day of wasn’t too bad once we got past the massive traffic, loud marching band, and dead trucks!  There was no down time for movies or anything like that.  I felt like the whole day I was going full speed!  I thought I was going to make it without crying, but as soon as my song came on and the doors opened for me to walk, the tears just flowed!  Amanda had stuffed a hanky down my top at the last minute and I laughed at her thinking I wouldn’t need it, but it was a life saver.  After standing with Nathan a few minutes, I retrieved it.  The look on his face when I went down the top of my dress after it was priceless!  It took a lot not to bust out laughing!

It was very emotional to say the least!  Walking down the aisle our eyes were locked on each other.  He greeted me with a HUGE smile and told me about how beautiful I was and the dress was perfect for me.  He looked like he could cry, but held himself together.  We both wrote our own vows and his were really sweet.  I don’t really remember much else besides the kiss.  I couldn’t tell you who was at the ceremony or where anyone sat.  It was completely intimate between me and Nathan which I really liked.  I am still waiting on the wedding video Nathan’s parents taped.  After I watch it I will be sure to give props to our officiant, John J

After the ceremony, us and the wedding party freezed outside for a few outdoor pictures.  Thanks guys for putting up with it.  The outside pictures turned out really nice.  We took some pictures downstairs and stuffed our faces with appetizers before heading back for dinner!  Dinner was good and I hope everyone else felt the same.  I know we sorta delayed it so it sat for awhile on the warmers. 

The rest of the night was fun.  There was plenty of dancing which was a pleasant surprise for me.  I thought no one would dance so…  It was nice to be able to see everyone and some friends I had not seen in a while.  It was very pleasant and no drama which was a HUGE relief.  All that stressing for nothing. 

Thank you to everyone that showed up and put on nice clothes and a happy face to celebrate with us!  It means a lot to us that you were there to share in our very special day.

Our best man added that we looked like that happiest people in the world on our wedding day!  I felt that same way!  I couldn’t be more happier to be Mrs. Ford.  It’s my secret little drug when Nathan calls me ‘wife’.  My face lights up like the 4^th of July! 

Don’t forget about the honeymoon!  It was a lot fun!  We got upgraded for free to the penthouse 51^st floor and our room had an awesome view of the strip!  We had a huge bathtub that we both could fit in together that we took full advantage of!  We got to Vegas late Sunday night and stayed up most of the night exploring.  We started walking the strip early Monday.  There was so much to see.  We got wore out fast though.  The time change and the massive amount of walking took its toll.  We decided after all day walking on Monday, we would get the shuttle bus pass for the remainder of the week.  We saw all of the free shows like the Bellagio fountains, Mirage volcano, and Treasure Island dueling pirate ships.  We saw the V the Variety Show.  It was a show with a lot of different types of acts.  Nathan got called on stage to ‘volunteer’, they joked with him (and rubbed his nipples) but he was a good sport and it was hilarious!  We also had dinner at Excalibur and saw a joust.  We visited the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop from the TV show Pawn Stars.  We got to go to the grand canyon on Wednesday.  It was SO beautiful but the bus ride was so long!  By Thursday we were both so ready to go home, plus Nathan was sick L We still tried to make the best of our time left and made it to Friday night.  We were happy to be home on Saturday and headed straight to the immediate care.  We were both sick, sick, sick.  Not the best way to end a honeymoon but it was a nice vacation.  Las Vegas is definitely one of those places you should only go to visit for a max of 3 days.

The honeymoon was fun but definitely tiring and a little stressful since we didn’t know where we were going or had any kind of plan. 

Now that things have settled down, we have been enjoying the married life.  Nathan is so sweet.  He gets so excited to tell everyone that I am his wife.  He is always saying I love you, wife!  It makes me smile!  He is more excited than I ever thought he would be.  He is not the type that usually shows his excitement.  But I am loving every minute of it!  Nathan’s mother has also been busy at work telling everyone that I just got married to her son.  LOL

I have to tell you about the heels!

4 days....

I can hardly wait!  I can't focus on work because of my excitement and I still have 2 more days to work! 

This past weekend was the last before the wedding.  I did finish up most of the little stuff so this next week can be smooth sailing.  I have to tell you about the awesomeness I found on Friday!  I found the most prefect, strappy, high heel shoes!  They are going to lift me up enough so that the dragging dress is no longer a problem.  Plus, I can walk in them and they are so freaking cute!  This may not sound like a big deal to you, but to someone like me who wears a size 2 in children’s, this is A-MA-ZING!  It is virtually impossible to find any kind of heel, much less a suitable heel.  They usually consist of Hannah Montana on the side with a light up heel in neon pink.  And even those are sometimes too narrow for my foot.  So, like my magical dress (see blog: say yes to the dress) I found the perfect shoe at the last moment, when all hope is lost.  They are going to match prefect!!

 Saturday was the Bachelorette and Bachelor parties.  I had so much fun hanging out with the ladies just being silly.  We met up later with the guys and kept the party going all night!  Biscuits and Gravy in the morning (care of Miss Amber) was a great way to finish the night.  LOL.  Soooo sleepy Sunday.  We did manage to stay up and get a few things done before crashing out early Sunday evening.

Monday marked the 5 day mark and although I was expecting call backs and confirmations, I didn’t expect them all to come in at once!  Getting the calls and talking about the day are defiantly getting me more and more excited!! 

Friday there will be a laundry list of things to get done.  We have to make sure to drop everything off at the venue, Nathan needs to pick up the tuxes and I need a manicure.  We will end the night with a huge family style dinner (a good stiff drink, LOL) with our bridal party.  I hope I am exhausted enough at the end of the night to get some good beauty sleep! 

If we can make it up to the venue the day in time, that will be a start.  It’s a goal to not cry before the ceremony starts!  Amanda has suggested to watch movies while getting ready.  This means no sad movies, like The Notebook.  They better be fall out of my seat (not literately, I hope.) hilarious!

No nerves yet!  Just simply excitement!  I could not be more ready!

11 days!

11 days until the rest of my life!

Last minute details are being finished and things that can’t get done are being marked off the list.   I am not nervous or anything, at least not yet. (Besides about the amount of money we spent, LOL)  I think if I do get nervous, it will be about everything going well and not about getting married.  I love Nathan and I am ready to be his wife.  We have decided, or Nathan did anyway, to write our own vows.  It is sweet, but I just didn’t want to add any additional stress.  Plus, I wanted to know ahead of time what he was going to say…  He said he won’t read them to me before the wedding, but I know the truth is that he will not write them UNTIL the day of the wedding!  I guess that’s a man though.  I know going into it that he is definitely a procrastinator.  Can’t say that is anything new…  I am ready.  I am especially ready for all this planning and craziness to be over.  Ready to get my normal craziness back.  LOL.  I just want to spend a weekend vegging on my couch instead of cake tasting, dress shopping, party planning, venue seeking, or flower arranging.  So much has went on in the last 4 months.  Geeze, it was only 4 months!  Glad we didn’t wait a year.  I think I wouldn’t have any nerves left then! 

Nathan’s birthday is today and we are going to Crackers to celebrate for him tomorrow.  Bachelorette/bachelor party is this weekend.  Hope it is fun for the both of us.  I know we both scaled down plans due to money issues so… 

Next week will be just be trying to mental prepare.  I have been trying to focus on the things I am excited about, like becoming Mrs. Ford, the cake, the honeymoon…  it helps to take the stress off of everything else having to be perfect.  Just hope all goes well and it is a happy and fun memory…  And the plane departs to Las Vegas ON TIME!!!!! J  

Until next week…

23 days and counting...

Ok so we are now down to 23 days….

How long has it been since I have blogged…  I thought I had everything under control and things were going to calm down!  Recap!  Wedding has thrown up all over my house!  I don’t think I have FOLDED laundry in 3 weeks!  We have just been living out of the dryer… (NO judging! As if YOU have never done it! LOL)  I will cross one item off the master list and add two more things!  I think I will be working on this until the day of…and probably some that day too! LOL 

Nathan says he wants me back.  He says he loves me every day and isn’t looking to marry me on a PREFECT day.  That’s his way of telling me to calm down, it’s not that deep.  I know he is right but at the same time, little girls always grow up thinking this is going to be the most happiest, prefect day ever.  Reality sets in and you just have to take a step back and a deep breath and know that it is meant to be a happy day, but there will be happier moments and as long as you love the person you marry then all the other stuff is just … stuff!

But as I was saying, I thought I was calm and the worst of the stress was over.  I was wrong.  Just when I was settling back in to everyday life, the crazed stress bride came back!  I am starting to stress over all the little details that I wasn’t thinking about a month ago.  We did get the rings.  I have my dress in my possession now.  I am a very happy girl about that!  We got the marriage license.  I am waiting on a few things to come in the mail for finishing touches.  We need to work out dinner plans for the night before with the wedding party.  And a few other small details to work out… Less than a month to go and two holidays in between.  Plus bachelorette/bachelor parties.  Break that down and its comes out to no time left!  I am trying my hardest to just let go of some things.  I am trying to concentrate on how we will feel after the wedding while relaxing on our honeymoon.

Here we go again...

40 days…

So what is new?  When to try on my dress after fittings on Friday.  That was an interesting experience.  I guess I didn’t realize this was only the FIRST fitting and that it was expected that others  would follow.  So I wasn’t very happy to begin with.  I feel like I need to have my dress with me and be able to look at it to make this all real.  I feel like since I am not able to do that, I never remember the dress exactly right.  Not that I don’t continue to love it, because I do.  Weird?  Well, anyway, so the dress fits very different than before and not perfect like I thought.  So I get a little upset, thinking all along I was going to take my dress home today!!  A few deep breaths later, I calm myself down and figure out a fix to the issues.  I just feel like the seamstress gave me different expectations when I first purchased the dress.  The show must go on right?  Another 2 weeks without my dress… L

After the stressful dress fitting me and Amanda head out to order the cake!  Why am I so indecisive!  It seemed like we were there ALL night.  I had a basic concept in mind that we had went over when we taste tested and all was well then.  Not so much this time.  Certain details have to be compromised on.  I just want it to look good!  I want it to be worth the large amount of money I am paying for it.  If I just wanted cake, I’d go to Wal-Mart and spend $30 on a HUGE sheet cake. LOL. 

I felt like we were finally getting somewhere with the wedding planning until Friday.  The stress made me feel like I was starting all over again!  Just wanted to climb into bed and rest!

The rest of the weekend was fine though.  I got some decompression time and once again got a grip on the fact that we are almost to the finish line!  Honeymoon is booked and definitely gives us something to look forward to!  Can’t wait til it’s just me and him! 

Christmas is fast approaching and if you are reading this, please forgive me, no Christmas gifts this year. L  Nathan and I agreed that we need to get into the season to have a getaway from this ciaos but it will be very small.  We are heading to E-ville this weekend to visit Dad and go to the possible last Liberations concert.  It should be a great time! 

So we have a lot of little details and ends to tie up but I think for the most part we are done.  No sighing yet!!  There is always something right?  LOL

This is at a store on Friday.  I told Amanda this tiara was only $1 and I was going to wear it for the wedding!  J/K

It started with the turkey...

46 DAYS AND COUNTING…

I made it through Thanksgiving!  Nathan had to set everyone straight about dinner etiquette, but we made it though without any fighting or bickering.  I was even complemented on my turkey!  Not bad for the first one!! 

So, we were given the gift of silence, but only for one night.  I don’t understand why we have very little support behind us with the wedding.  It seems like some people have just turned up the stress and drama towards us since we announced the engagement.  This should be the happiest time of our lives to date.  Instead, we are pulling our hair out trying to satisfy everyone and no matter what, no one is happy.   It should be all about us and our wishes right now, but it seems like some people think it should be the other way around!  Now I understand why couples elope!  We are so sick of this!  IT HAS TO STOP!  We are not taking anymore crap from anyone!  Starting now, if you don’t like it, you aren’t coming!  We still have a month and a half to go and we are not going to continue this way.  It may be harsh but we shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for anyone on our day!  I want to share this moment with people that are happy for us, love and care for us…

Besides all of that crap…  Things are starting to settle down with the planning.  Thank goodness, because with Christmas and New Year’s coming our time is running thin.  Mandy must be hugely relieved.  I know I was calling her almost every day freaking out about something there for a while.  I am still stressing over little details like timing and things like that but I think it’s mostly my need to have control of everything.  LOL!  I am picking up my dress from alterations on Friday.  Hopefully it fits perfectly and we are done with that.  Also, I am going to order the cake on Friday as well.  The only thing I can think of that still needs to be done is Nathan’s ring and sizing.  He is having a hard time choosing a ring he likes a lot. 

Overtime at work starts this week and continues until the wedding.  I am hoping to not totally kill myself with the extra work and planning that still remains.  I can sure use the extra money though! 

I always try to add something about Nathan in all my blogs and so this one is from a while ago when we were deciding a date and time for the wedding.  I just have been thinking about it a lot lately and realizing exactly how lucky I am.  So anyway….  When we were deciding on a time for the wedding, I told Nathan that it was recommended to have the ceremony start on a half hour so that the minute hand on the clock is moving upward, as a signal of good luck.  He told me that it was silly because we did not need any kind of LUCK because we love each other so much.  Marriage should never be based on luck anyway.  Nathan, you always know exactly what to say!  <3

Progress!

54 days and counting…

Makeup consultation for THE LOOK was Friday.  I thought it was going ok.  I was, of course, not comfortable with any of the looks because I am not much of a makeup wear-er anyways.  But my girls assured me that if I don’t wear enough I will be washed out in the photos.  So, I went along with it…  So, I walk in the door at home to Nathan, he freaks out on me and says “You look like a drag queen!  No, I take that back, cuz you will blog about it!!”  J  Gotta love my Nathan!  I guess we are back to the drawing board on the final look…

I can’t believe how much I got accomplished this weekend!  I got the photographer I wanted!  I got my veil, centerpieces completed, and guest “book” done!  Tuxes picked out and another cake tasting under our belt.  I took Riley shopping for a flower girl dress.  She tried to sneak in a few other things on our shopping trip.  She took me she would have to have a place to put her flowers.  She said “Aunt Cindy, you have to buy me this purse so I can carry the flowers!”  She is so cute, and SMART.  LOL  Anyway, huge amount of the load taken care of!  We still need to make a final decision on the cake, honeymoon and DJ.

I feel we are in a much better place with everything now.  We might actually pull this thing off! LOL 

In other news, we are hosting Thanksgiving dinner at our house.  No one has any faith I can pull it off.  Nathan says it’s hard for a person that knows how to cook to make a turkey.  He says Thanksgiving does not turn you into a good cook…  He will be sleeping on the couch for that one. LOL (Just kidding baby!)  So we will be making a 20 lb turkey, cheesy potatoes, corn casserole, stuffing, greens, and fruit pizza.  All are welcome, but come at your own risk!  We are cannot be held responsible for bad or burned food, family feuds, or possible injury resulting from your visit. 

If you do not hear from me after Thanksgiving, you know they slaughtered me at dinner…

Spinning...

60 days and counting....

Time is flying by!  I feel like I am standing in one spot and everything is spinning so fast around me.  I feel like I am going to lose my mind trying to remember everything.  Still need a cake, a photographer, a officiate, Nathan needs a ring and a tux as well as all the groomsmen.  We need to book the honeymoon, get a marriage license, and I know I am forgetting something!  Not to mention the stress of my father's illness and the dreadful holiday season!  All 3 holidays right before the wedding, am I crazy!!  We literally have only 4 weekends left that are not monopolized by a holiday!  What am I going to do!?!?!? I feel like I have taken on too many do-it-yourself projects by myself.  Yet I would never trust them to someone else.  LOL  And Amanda even warned me about the craft stuff getting out of hand, but it is my nature and I am a cheap ass...  Why buy something I can make???  *SIGH*

Nathan is sick of wedding talk.  I can tell by the look he gives me every time he knows I am about to ask him about something.  I try to talk about other stuff but truth be told, the wedding is all that I can think about.  I want him to be involved and especially would love it if he would help with SOMETHING!!!  I am super stressed that it is going to crash and burn.  I keep having these dreams that I wake up late and someone booked the wedding for the wrong day and no one shows up....

I must sound like I am mental to all you bloggers!

Hoping to get everything in order, in time...  Can someone whisper in Santa's ear I would enjoy a time stop watch for Christmas?!?!?

Can't Wait

Another busy weekend of wedding planning gone.  We had tons planned for this past weekend!  Friday, I finished all the invitations and mailed them out.  Also, went shopping for wedding decor and came home empty handed.  I did make it home in enough time to catch an unexpected, much needed, nap!  It felt good to be able to catch up on some rest for sure!

Saturday was an early morning meet up with the maid of honor, Amanda.  We met up at Panara and had some breakfast and chatted about flowers and centerpieces.  She liked the samples I had made and thought I did really well picking out the flowers.  It was nice to get a second opinion on things.  We then headed towards Castleton.  We stopped a few places to look at shoes.  I picked out a sweet pair of cowboy boots to wear for the wedding!  We went and ordered the toasting glasses and tried to pick the design for the tuxes.  I am surely decisioned out!  I told them to just let the groomsmen and Nathan pick what they want! Maybe I'll regret that later!!! LOL!  After the tux place, Amanda tried on a few bridesmaids dresses and found one I really liked.  We also headed back to the Poise Patch to get fitted for my dress for alterations.  It was really a good time.  I got to put on my dress again, only this time, add all the things to it to make it feel real.  I brought the bouquet, tried on different veils, took pictures and just imaged what the real night would be like. 
After the alterations, we went to pick up a sample cake from Taylor's Bakery.  Me and Nathan tried the cake and it was good, but just didn't 'feel' like a wedding cake, more like the birthdays you buy from the grocery store.  So I guess we are still on the hunt for a cake baker!
I decided that I wanted to see Natalie, my other bridesmaid, it the dress I liked, so, I called her up to meet me at the mall.  The store only had one size, but had her try it on to see how I liked it.  I did like the dress, and te store said another had a size that would work.  Natalie, however, hated this dress so made all excuses not to buy it.  But, it is my wedding, and the color and price was right.  I told the store to hold it and we would pick up the next day after she would have a change to try it on.
Saturday night, I met up with Nathan and we went together, to try to make peace with my mother.  I felt the talk went ok and maybe we can make it through the wedding.

Sunday, we needed to meet the caterer again and go over the set up and things at the venue.  Amanda again met us.  She is defiantly my built in wedding planner and I don't know what I would do without her.  The meeting with the caterer defiantly put me in an excellent mood!  He explained EVERYTHING to me and said that they would take care of EVERYTHING for me!  We did a walk through of how the room  would be set up, taken down, turned over to the reception, and everything in between.  He gave us some excellent ideas for where to put what.  He showed us a sample table setting and we tried out all the food and sampled several kinds of Champaign for the toast.  It really put my mind at ease and really helped to put a picture in my mind of the big day.  I AM SUPER EXCITED NOW!!!!  We also checked out the grounds again for cool pictures and what not.  Maybe it was the Champaign but I was sooo giddy when we left!
Afterwards, we all needed to meet up to have Natalie and Amanda try on  the dresses again and to make a final decision.  I love them!  Natalie still hates it and definitely resisted against it.  It certainly stressed me out, but in the long run, it's not about her. 

So with all that was accomplished, I was feeling really good this morning.  I felt like for the first time we were in a good spot with everything and that we were going actually pull this off! 
Damn that Murphy and his stupid law!!!!!
From the top of the mountain pushed off and fall to the jagged rocks below!  Must everything and everyone have an opinion and drama!  This is my day to marry the man I have loved for seven years!  This is about starting our life’s together as husband and wife.  This is about our happiness and sharing our love for each other with family and friend that love and care for us.  JUST SO YOU KNOW, IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU OR ANYTHING ELSE!  DONT BE JELOUS AND TRY TO SOUR THIS MOST HAPPY TIME!

As in the words of Nathan, "Out of everything else going on, all the decisions and plans, I JUST WANT YOU! THAT'S IT!"  I love you so much Nathan! You are my rock!

Wedding Duties

Wedding planning is CONSUMING my life!  My brain is wedding mush!  I took care of the flowers this past weekend.  Went and bought ALL that we will need.  I got a great deal on the real touch silk flowers.  You can not even tell they are fake!  Pretty sweet if you ask me.  I thought I was going to have to settle on something I didn't want since it is a winter wedding and flowers are usually pretty expensive.  I did buy pre-made wedding bouquets for me and the bridesmaids but I am going to make a few adjustments to make it 'me'.  All in all, I think I did very well for picking it all out myself!

After I got home with all the flowers I tried out several verisons of the centerpeices.  I asked Nathan, but he doesn't really care about any of that stuff.  He says, "whatever you want, I say we spend no money and get married anyway..."  :) Gotta love him for being cheap!  Gonna run the samples by Amanda and see what she thinks.

Nathan annouced one his groomsman this weekend, finally.  Gary abliged to the roll, but did give Nathan some shit for not making him Best Man.  His Best Man has not yet realized that Nathan has asked him.  Weird story, more to come on that one...  We are also waiting to find out if our choice of officant will work out, more to come on that as well.

We also registered this weekend.  Literally took ALL DAY!  We started at Kohl's and I went and got the scanner.  So, we are looking at stuff and I am like, ok let's hurry this up.  If you see something, I'll scan it.  Easy, right?  No, No!  Nathan had to throughly check and inspect everything we looked at to make sure that it was something he wanted.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I like nice things, but does it really matter which measuring cup is superior to the rest?  LOL. Again, gotta love him.  We have been living together almost as long as we have be together, so as you may suspect, we have most everything for a home.  We just looked at things that needed upgraded or replaced.  So, anyway, after hours and hours in Kohl's, we head to Walmart.  Our friends are major procrastinator so this only made sense for those people that remember at 11pm the night before the wedding... You know who you are... wink ,wink!!  Maybe Walmart was not such a genius idea though, I just know that Nathan scanned a big screen somewhere along the way. :)

After this long, long day, I thought to myself as we are walking out, should've just put in a registation for the photographer. :)

OK, here is the run down of scheduled events.  Friday, I am hoping to get Nathan to get fitted for his tux.  Saturday is my fitting for my dress alterations.  I need to still pick out a veil or at least the style I like.  Sunday is the venue taste test and run though of possible set ups for the event.  Hoping to book some cake tastings ASAP and also bridesmaid dress shopping.  Us girls have a make up consultation next Wednesday.  Still feel like there is TONS to do!!!!!

T minus 74 days and counting....

THE Dress!

My Life Ain't Always Beautiful...
But It’s a Beautiful Ride!

Ok, SOOO much stuff has happened over this weekend!  SOOO much stuff yet to take care of!  First things first, we officially set a date!  January 15th, 2011 I will officially be Mrs. Nathaniel Ford!!!!  And, yes, I must be crazy.  I am going to plan the most beautiful wedding ever in 2 1/2 months!  Yikes! 

Recap of the weekend...
Thursday, I asked Amanda Masterson to be my Maid of Honor and of course, she said yes!  Well, actually, she screamed at the top of her lungs, "yes, yes, yes, I am soooooo excited!!!"  Then, she called back to tell me about everything she had been thinking about for the wedding! :) Gotta love Mandy, she was helping long before I asked!
Friday, I went dress hunting for the first time with Natalie and Nicole, Nathan's sisters.  We went to several places.  I found a trunk dress I liked at Sofia's in Greenwood, and also fell in love with 2 pricy dresses at David's Bridal.  I decided to sleep on it since it was my first time out and I was defiantly having sticker shock!  I did ask Natalie to be my bridesmaid and complete my side of the wedding party.  She accepted also!
Saturday morning, bright and early, I made my way out to meet Amanda for a second go at the dress shopping.  I woke up a little, ok, a lot late, so I am speeding to get to her on time...  Well, I got pulled over!  The cop comes to the window says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" 
"Yes" I said. "Speeding"
"Do you know how fast you were going?" he quizzed me.
"Not sure"
"70 in a 55.  Is there some reason why you were going so fast?" he asked.
"Well, I am getting married in 2 months and I made an appointment to look at dresses and I am late.  I want to be able to find something in time!" I told him.
So, the cop takes my info back to his car and I am freaking out, thinking there goes $150 of my dress budget.  The cop come back to my window, and with me feeling total defeated, he says, "On behalf of the police department, I would like to present you with a wedding gift of a warning!"  he smiles, handles me my stuff and says, "good luck on that dress shopping!"
OMG!  Did that just really happen?  So awesome and what a great story! :)

Anyway, back to the dress hunting.  I meet up with Amanda and we check out a small place in Brownsburg, we hit David's in Castleton so I can show her the ones I liked.  I didn't have the same love today as yesterday.  Good thing I slept on it!  I tried on a few others with no real love for any.  We then headed to the Bridal Superstore.  I chose my allotted 5 'first' dresses to try on.  The last one I tried I asked if she could ask the seamstress about if it would hem well.  She bring back the lady, she looks over it, and says, "did she try on that petite sample dress in clearance?" Then she heads down an aisle of dressed. 
The consultant helping says, "but that will be too small, it is 4 sizes down!"
"Have her try anyway, we can see what can be done.  I think it will fit length wise and save her some money on the hem."
So she hands me this lacy, beaded grown that is beautiful!  Inside I am thinking, yeah like this will fit!  I put it over my head and can get it on!  I asked to be zipped and yes it is zipping, almost all the way up!!!  I come out of the fitting room and take a look.  It is the perfect length!  It is gorgeous dress!  I ask again about alterations and if it could be made bigger in the bust to fit.  She tells me they can add a corset back instead of the zipper, no problem!  Tears start to well up as I am thinking about my wedding day, I can see myself walking towards Nathan in this dress!  IT IS THE ONE!  It was like it was made just for me!  And by some miracle a dress 4 sizes too small fits almost perfect!
You would be amazed what looking at a dress the right size does!  It is sooo hard to imagine what you will look like in something that is 2 feet too long!  I brought my dress, THE DRESS, on Saturday!!  One of my hugest worries is done! 

Sunday, me, Nathan and Amanda went to our first Bridal Show.  Me and Nathan got Bride and Groom stickers which definitely put you in that "I am getting married" kind of mindset!  It was cool to be able to try cakes and talk with ALL KINDS of venues all in one place!  I felt like I got more done in those few hours than I have in the past week!

Now it is time for crunch time!!  Wedding invites have to be taken care of ASAP!!!  Photographer, cake and flowers are a must!  Tuxes must be ordered!  Oh, yea, and Nathan MUST decide on his Groomsmen, NOW!!!!  He is afraid of hurting peoples feelings but we are seriously running out of time here!

What a busy weekend!  I got like NO sleep!  Time to start the week all over again.  We have some serious decisions to make this week too.  This wedding stuff is stressful, but I know I am marrying my best friend and cannot wait!  Nathan has been soooo sweet lately too!  When deciding on the date, he said, "it does not matter to me as long as I am marrying you on one of those days, the sooner the better!"  <3<3<3

The Place!

My Life Ain't Always Beautiful...
But It’s a Beautiful Ride!

FINALLY!  I have found a venue that fits us just right and I know it will be memorable!  Drum roll, please...
We will be having the wedding at Normandy Barn at the Indiana State Fairgrounds!!!!  It is soooooo cute!  Definitely just as good as what we really wanted but couldn't have due to weather.  Nathan is just freaking out about the catering prices, which are really reasonable, but to him sound like a fortune for JUST food. :)My mind is going crazy with ideas and decorations.  We have a few dates in mind but that is still up in the air.  Hopefully we will have that nailed down by the end out the week.  I just hope none of our guests are offended by the parking fee.  It is only $3 but I am still worried people will be upset. 

Now, I just get to stress out about everything else.  The only thing I am really worried about is finding the DRESS!  I have not been out hunting yet and we have decided to move the date up a few months earlier than first discussed.  So, the pressure is on! 

All I can think about right now is the wedding.  I have not being sleeping because I can't clear my mind.  I can't stay focused at work because I am thinking about all the little things I might be forgetting.  Geeezee!  If I wasn't such a control freak maybe I wouldn't be so stressed but I feel like I have literally NO time to get everything done.

I feel some weight has lifted with the venue being decided, but there is still lots of details to finalize before paying for it.  I feel like there is so much to do and so many little details to tend to.  I still am researching photographers, cake shops, and I have no clue about flowers yet! (recommendation welcome!) I will be announcing the bridal party next week.  I hope they say yes.  Lord knows I need their support and help!

On a more personal note, it pains me that my mother will not get off her high horse so that she can celebrate with us.  It would be so exciting to have her be a part of this.  And only pray it will work itself out before the wedding...

Venues

My Life Ain't Always Beautiful...
But Its a Beautiful Ride!

Ok, as stated in the prior entry, both the free barn and water venue are out.  I don't want to stress myself and my funds to the bone trying to make the free barn suitable.  The water wedding idea just was not for me.  It was not anything close to what I dreamed my wedding would be like, so scratch that!

Starting fresh was defiantly difficult.  We don't want to spend our whole live savings on the night that officially starts our life together.  Venues are SUPER expensive.  Then on top of that, they are picky!  You can't do this, you have to do this, you must pay for that.  OMG!  Things you never think of when you are DREAMING about your wedding!  I felt like I was hitting a brick wall of 'nothing is going to work'.  Then, finally, I started to get creative!  I have found some places but, at this point, I am still sorting...

I have a catering taste testing tonight at Jonathan Byrd's and future sister-in-law, Natalie, will be going with me.  Nathan had to work so...  Hope it goes well.  I don't think I am going with this company or their venue, but I heard it is a good thing to try a few places so you know what is out there and how to compare.  So, worse thing is that we get a free meal! :) Can't complain! LOL

Nathan and I are going to check out 2 venues on Friday.  One is a complete inclusive venue (Valle Vista) and the other is just a venue (Winchester Place).  Again, not sure what I want so trying to keep an open mind at this point.  I did find a 3rd possible location that I am super excited about.  I think it might be the ONE! (Keeping this one a secret for now!)  But it is booked out for all of next week so I have to wait a little while on that one.

Nathan also asked if we could move the date up.  Umm, super stressed!  After our trip to Evansville last weekend, we found out my Dad is not doing so great.  Nathan really thinks we should move it up so that it is at a time when he is still in Good health and can actually WALK me down the aisle.  IDK!  I am freaking out as it stands right now!  I think the only thing I could not rush is the dress.  I mean, I am not the normal girl.  I am 4'8 and not sure what, if anything, at a store will look good.  I have not been dress shopping as of yet, but I know it will not be any walk in the park.  Leaving this discussion open for now...

I am just hoping to get the ball rolling and soon.  I NEED to CHOOSE the venue, like yesterday!  I need to announce my bridal party ASAP so I can get some help! 

Weather or Not?

My Life Ain't Always Beautiful...
But its a beautiful ride!!

Ok, back to trying to decide the date…

Still stressing over weather issues!  I feel like I have to get this venue situation figured out before finalizing the date.  (Remember the free venue?)  My first choice, the barn, with the oak tree to get married under and the bonfire and hog roast after, well, it may work, may not work…  I am going to check it out this weekend but from the sound of it, it may be more work than it is worth.  It is an old farm barn and it needs to be suitable for the wedding and wedding guests if the weather is less than desirable.  So, do I spend the time and money to make it work, or do I go to plan B and save some time, money and stress, and again compromise the ultimate dream?  Life is full of disappointments so you just have to make the best of what you are given! 

 

As I was saying, I am going to check it out for myself this weekend.  I am also checking out plan B, ‘a wedding on the water’.  More to come…

Dilemma!

My Life Ain't Always Beautiful...
But its a beautiful ride!!

So back again...
Recap!  My boyfriend of 7 years is now my FIANCE!
I have been refering to Nathan for awhile now as my husband but something about the reality of it changes things.  LOL.  I can't wait till the wedding, but now comes the pressure and stress of planning.  Sure wish that "wedding planning'" book I stated when I was 12 could help me out now!  Yes, I am crazy and I did start 'planning' my wedding when I was 12 and yes I do still have the book... PLEASE, no judging! :)
Everything in the book is crap!  I am a totally different person now then I was then or something!  There is no way I am going to be walking down the isle in that!  I must be a dreamer if I think we can afford those center pieces!  It is pretty much hysterical!!
So, anyway, back to REAL life.  Got to def set the date first and foremost!  Problem is, we were hoping for a fall wedding and thats a year away.  No problem for us, but it may be for my sick father.  Dilemma!  Compromise the dream and the FREE venue to have my father there?  Of course I want him there and have no problem changing the date BUT it will put the date in terrible, unpredicable weather, which means no outdoor FREE venue.  And I can not find a suitable, pricable venue that is indoors...  PLEASE HELP!  The date has to be the first thing I plan and I can't even do that!!

**SIGH**

YES!

My Life Ain't Always Beautiful...
But its a beautiful ride!!

So, I have decided to start a blog to clear my thoughts and stresses and to keep track of this WONDERFUL time in my life.  Maybe this blog with become something some day, maybe not.  I just figure if Amanda has time to blog while she is in labor, I am sure I can find a few minutes day to update as well!  LOL!  Let's recap!

I have just recently purchased my first home.  I have a full time day job and part time night job.  I live with my boyfriend of 7 years and our dog, Duke.  Things are crazy all of the time!!  I have a long commute to my work and my boyfriend works the opposite schedule as I do.  It's seems like there is never enough time to get anything done! 
Recently, my boyfriend has come up with an idea for our own bussiness and a way for me to use my college skills.  This plan is still in the workings but he is super passionate about it...so, therefore, I am as well :)

So, anyways, fast forward to our first real vacation, last weekend.  It was the weekend out my birthday and we took off Thursday to visit my father in Evansville, IN.  We went to a concert with him, drinking with a friend after, then got up on Friday and headed to St Louis!  We chose St Louis because it was close but still had lots of things to do.  Friday, when we arrived, we headed to the City Museum.  The City Museum is this super neat museum of 100% recycled materials sculped into a HUGE jungle gym.  Anything goes!  Clumb, crawl or walk anywhere and everywhere!  It was SOOOO much fun, but so tiring.  We retreat back to the hotel and pass out as soon as our heads hit the pillow.
Saturday was promised to be a full day of sight seeing.  We first visited the Budweiser Brewery.  We got to tour the brewery, see the process of making beer, get a history lesson, and see the clidesdales!  Of course, at the end, there was FREE BEER!  I gave mine to Nathan. :) 
After Budweiser, it was on to the Arch!  St Louis best known landmark!  The Arch was HUGE.  It was a lot bigger than I ever thought.  To enter the arch there is a musuem under ground.  We waited for what seemed like forever in the HOT HOT SUN to enter.  After arriving we waited some more before we could ride to the top.  A tiny pod would carry us 5 at a time up the 630 feet to the top where we could view the city though tiny windows in a tiny obseratory at the top.  The view was well worth it and definatly memorible.  I motioned to Nathan I was ready to take the ride down.

Just then he says to me, "guess this is a good time then."  He got down on one knee, pulled a diamond ring out of his pocket, and started his proposal!  Tears, tears, and more tears!  He said something along the lines of "this is our vacation, and I love you and I am ready to start our lives together"  and of course "will you marry me?" All I really remember about this part is continuing to ask him if he was sure and hugging and kissing him and shaking my head.  He had totally surprised me and I was overwelled with joy!!  He put the ring on my finger and the elevator attendant took our picture.  It was magically and romantic!

This was definaly a highlight of our vacation and so special!  He said he wasnt nervous at all and he was happy I said yes! 

Sunday, we had serval things planned before the ride home, but it had stormed the night before and a lot of places didn't have power.  So, we decided to truck it on home and just take our time getting there.  Monday we both had taken off work, so, we just sat around and relaxed.  Let the engagment sink in...